The Dark Place

For most of us, we have a dark place within us. A place that houses our deepest, painful, self-destructive fears and actions.

We bury it deep inside of us for many reasons. One could be the fear of how we might act if those feelings and aggressions are let loose. Other reasons might include the reaction we might have to ourselves. The self-tormentors out there know what I’m talking about. The pain and misery that you give yourself over something that was done and/or said long ago yet we can’t quite let go of it.

Time never heals all wounds. Time just allows you to temporarily forget about it until some reminder comes along to bring forward what you have tried so hard to keep back.

Personally, I fall into the ‘self-tormenting’ category and will beat myself up for something that I did in the 4th grade. While the moment usually only lasts a few minutes at the most, those few minutes are a reminder to me the pain that I once caused to someone else. I had the capability to cause someone else pain. How terrifying in itself. Furthermore, I still feel regret and pain about it years later. Why? I’m crazy. But I put that into my dark place and leave it there. Hopefully, some day, I can burn my dark place and relieve myself of the misery that hides within it. Until then, I destroy all maps that lead to it and hope that I never again find it.

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