All or Nothing

Some people live their lives with others in an ‘all or nothing’ type of relationship.

I have come across probably about a good dozen people who start out as your friend or even as a great work acquaintance that you know you can have a great conversation with at work on your down time or whatever. Then something happens. Either the other person wants to maybe have more of a romantic relationship or maybe that person starts to hang around a little too much that your work begins to get pushed to the side because this person wants to really start chatting about something that happened to them.

So the inevitable takes place where you have to tell them that either you don’t want to have a romantic relationship or that you kind of have to start getting back to your work on a daily basis and then it happens: the all or nothing kicks in.

All of a sudden this person begins to ignore you like the black plague. You can’t even find them for real intentional reasons and not just chatting reasons.

Some of you might just think, “Okay, well, whatever,” and move on with your life. Others might approach them to clarify that you don’t want to stop being friends or that you don’t want things to be awkward or something of that nature to just keep things the way they were because, let’s face it, things were fine all before the ‘incident’.

The person might possibly avoid  you out of embarrassment in the beginning and eventually come back around or you may never really ever see them again. But everything changed over one event that took place. Now, things can never be the way they are because of it. And this ‘event’ wasn’t even that big of a deal on the scope of things. It’s not like you murdered this person’s cat or destroyed their car with a baseball bat. You just put your foot down as to how you felt to stop from leading them on. That’s it.

Nevertheless, these people act as if an ‘all or nothing’ negotiation took place and now, if you can’t be involved with them or if you can’t chat the day away with them, then you must clearly want nothing to do with them.

Unfortunately, not everything in  life is like this. Hopefully, these people can learn this lesson and things can go back to the way they were. If not, that’s great too, and it was nice knowing you.


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