Devils and Angels

We all have that little devil and angel that sits on our shoulders.

They are there all the time; not just when sticky situations arise.

For instance, when you see an elderly woman behind you as you exit a builing, your little angel is telling you, “Maybe you should hold that door open for her.” On the other side, your devil says, “Nah… forget about her! You have to get to your next appointment! You don’t have time for this!”

Every moment.

I would like to introduce you to my angel and my devil.

My devil: Jezebel. She’s a hoot, this girl! She’s totally awesome to hang out with sometimes. I’m not going to lie, I call her up occasionally to chill. She enjoys all of my vices too! Lucky me, right? She loves alcohol, chocolate, cakes, cookies, candies… everything delicious… devil’s food if you will ;). She enjoys sleeping and lounging. She enjoys laziness and ennui. Jezebel is definitely very cruel and selfish. She likes things her way or no way. She’s very headstrong, loves to argue; loves to win. She enjoys causing pain to others as well as to me. She’s full of hatred and angry. She breathes resentment. She’s very negative and definitely obsessive. I must admit that I’ve given in to her one too many times. She’s very seductive, enticing, and alluring.

My angel: Joy. She is very kind, warm, welcoming, and considerate. She enjoys all of the things that are good for me: fruits, veggies, water, and exercise. She’s active, encouraging, and positive. Joy loves all of the virtues of patience, compassion, sharing, and love. She wants you to always do your best and to try because she believes in you; you will succeed. She wants you to work hard to succeed and to always think of others before thinking of you. She wants you to wake up early and be productive with your time and your life. She wants you to eat well, rest accordingly, exercise, volunteer, and forgive. She likes to have the pure fun of eating blueberries and strawberries while reading and expanding your mind of the world and of yourself. She wants you to be mindful of who you are, what you are doing, and your place in the world.

Jezebel hates Joy; however, Joy understands that she is not alone in the world and thus has to live with Jezebel.

They both are a part of me, Jessica.

The three of us… well, we don’t always get along and we aren’t always the best roommates.

Joy has definitely been doing well lately. I’ve been very productive and proactive with certain aspects of my life. Jezebel has been winning her battles too. Jezebel is definitely very persuasive. Jezebel makes things seem so easy!

“Don’t worry about those calories… you know Joy is going to get your ass to the gym tomorrow anyway… just have the brownie now… you’ll work it off later,” Jezebel tells me.

“No no no!” shouts Joy. “Be good! You’ve already worked so hard! Why throw it all away now? You’re just going to hate yourself later. Come with me and we’ll get some fruit!” Joy pleads.

Then there’s me… in the middle… as always.

I can’t get rid of either one of them; they’re both really good for me. Deprivation for so long is hard… and tiring. I don’t know how Joy does it! She’s good ALL THE TIME! She never takes a day off from being good!

At the same rate, Jezebel is always bad… always! She never ever WANTS to be good! She’s never encouraging me to eat strawberries…. unless they’re covered in chocolate.

It goes on and on like this. It’s exhausting sometimes. Joy wins by default because I just give up and go to sleep. I don’t eat my snack, I don’t exercise, I just get to bed early. I get my rest without sabotaging my diet.

Other days, Jezebel just won’t give in! That girl is tough! She makes my ass get up and get the ice cream! Joy sneaks in the frozen yogurt though instead. Bless her for always trying.

The point is, I’m glad I have my devil and angel there always fighting for what they believe in. I wish Joy would fight a little harder sometimes, but she’s alright. She’s not a sore loser and she’s going to be there tomorrow… trying again… always pushing me to be better and be stronger.

But then again… so is Jezebel.

The war rages on!


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