Sometimes, just before I wake up, I have just one second of peace. For one second, I feel like nothing has changed. That I’m going to wake up in your room, I’m going to see you lying next to me. For one second, I feel like I have my life together and my heart is safe and whole.
For one second, I feel pure bliss of knowing that my life is just how I wanted it to be. For one second, I feel loved.
For one second, I think everything is okay. I’ll be able to roll over and cuddle with you on the cold mornings. My feet are always cold so I rub them up against yours to get them warm. You were always so warm. With my face lying on your bare chest, I felt like nothing in the world could go wrong. Your arms wrapping around me making me feel protected.
For one second, I breathe in your scent and associate it with all the love that we share between us. I know I’m going to start another day with you in my life. While I may leave you while you are sleeping, I will return back to you to have an evening together.
For one second, I could have sworn I felt your arm against mine. I could feel your smooth skin against mine. It’s almost instinct now to roll over and pull you closer to me. For one second, I thought I heard you breathe. Your slow and steady pace signaling to me that you are away dreaming as well.
For one second, I can not wait for night to come again in the hopes that I might get to experience this one second yet again.
I live these entire moments and more with you all in one second. For one second, I’m happy. For one second, I am whole. For one second, I am yours and you are mine.
And then I open my eyes and that second is gone.