No, this is not about the movie… although you should definitely see it because it’s awesome.
This is more or less a metaphor that I’m going to be running with here… so let’s get to it shall we?
We all know the basics of tennis. I’m not an expert on the sport but I’m sure I could figure it out if I watched it for a day or two. The ball is pretty much whacked across a net repeatedly. That’s pretty much all you’re going to need to know for this.
If you haven’t figured it out already, I’m quite a confused person. I tend to go back and forth (see where I’m going with this) on a lot of things in my life.
For one moment, I’m on one side of my ‘net’ so to speak. I’m doing just fine living there and getting along quite well.
I go sailing across, over to the other side, at a rapid speed. I don’t land too well and bounce… pretty hard, I might add. Now, I’m on the other side… exploring away. Just as soon as I become accustomed.
Back I go.
Sometimes, I’m only on one side of my thoughts for a brief instant. Other times, I go crashing all around and before I know it, I’m not even on the fucking court anymore!
Day in and day out this game plays along in my head. All day. Every day. I’m not sure if there’s a ‘half-time’ in tennis but in my world – there are no breaks.
I’m not going to lie, sometimes, actions and feelings are hard to call. Am I in? Am I out? Who’s turn is it even? Why is my back hurting?
But back and forth I continue on.
For some odd reason, people find this confusing. I don’t understand why and they don’t understand either. “Why are you even in the game? Shouldn’t you just bench yourself?” my girlfriend asks. I would like to but I’m too busy trying to keep score to figure out which side of me wins. I can’t keep playing this game forever. Some part of me will lose. It has to. I know there are ties in sports but not in this one. We’re going into overtime or lightning round or whatever they have in tennis that means that.
I didn’t even know I was on a side at that point! But yet I get shocked back into my thoughts and start playing this game again. On one side and then back again.
Keep in mind, this isn’t like deciding if I want a Vanilla Latte or a Mocha Latte here… this is a serious game. Besides, I’m feeling like a Chai Latte anyway… so good. But even with my delicious drink in hand, I’m still going back and forth.
Have you ever seen the crowds at tennis matches? They sort of just look like they’re shaking their head ‘no’ for a brief few moments. I think what I’m really seeing is everyone shaking their head ‘no’ to me and shouting, “You have to stop doing this to yourself!” I know, I know. But rarely is anything ever this easy.
Both players are strong and skilled. They’re fighting a really good game, I’m not going to lie about that one either.
As for who will get the game point, I don’t know. The sets continue on and I’m losing stamina. Perhaps someone will forfeit and just end the game once and for all.
But no matter what, everyone will leave defeated.