I work in a type of business that I have to make a lot of phone calls and be on the phone quite often. I’ve also spent a few years working in sales. I’ve been put in the position of being rejected about a million times.

Has it gotten easier?

Not a single time.

I still fear rejection. Whether it’s from a potential love interest, sales, marketing, retail… I always fear it. I couldn’t even tell you why. I think it’s because I’ve been put in the position too often where I’m not only getting rejected but getting cussed out and my manager/boss/supervisor/whatever won’t stand up for his/her employees. Furthermore, as a sales associate, you’re taught, “The customer is always right” and quite frankly – they’re not. But, instead, this person has to make themselves feel bigger, better, and stronger and start cussing out me for just doing my job.

I would have no problem tearing right back into the other person and give them a piece of my mind but at the end of the day, I know I need the job. I know that I don’t want to have written reprimands on my record and God-forbid not get hired at my next job because they found out I went ape shit on a customer who deserved it.

So when the opportunity presents itself that I might be rejected, I’m fearful.

“You won’t get hurt. We’re still here. We’ll still care about you. You’ll still be a good person,” my fellow co-workers encourage me.

They don’t understand why I take it to heart when I’ve had my fair shares of rejections and disputes with customers.

I take it personally. I like to know that I’m doing my job well. I like to know that I know what I’m doing. Furthermore, I would like to know that if someone is cussing me out like a pirate, that my boss will back me when I tell him to fuck off and quit being an asshole.

That is something else I do not understand. Even when I’m upset, I don’t ever cross that line of cussing someone out. Never. I’ve been on the other end (clearly) so I would never do that to someone else. I couldn’t do that to someone else.

Personally, I’ve learned that if you’re nice about things, the person feels bad that something bad has happened to a nice person – and gives better perks. The asshole who called them every name in the book isn’t going to get shit (well, they might if they complain a lot).

I just don’t see a reason for it. But, I’ve been given it… so I know others see a reason for it.

In addition, it’s fine if you want to say no; however, how you do it is just as important.

I had a woman once say to me, “No thank you but I appreciate the offer,” and she said it with such sincerity that I thought she actually felt bad for having to say no. In the end, it made the rejection feel a lot better.

Most give that sting: “No – but thanks for wasting my time!”

Now was that last part really necessary? REALLY!?

I don’t think it was.

Some people never hear ‘no’. I don’t know how they do it. They say all the same things I say yet they get more ‘yes’s’ than I do. I don’t get it sometimes. People can be biased and I understand that… to an extent.

I’ve heard the argument made that people are more likely to treat a woman in service horrible compared to her male counterpart doing the same job. Why? I don’t know. They’re both doing the same job.

Some arguments have been made that the male gets a better treatment because people think he’s working hard to provide for his family and the female is working solely for something to do or for a little extra spending money since she most likely has a man taking care of her.

Neither of which can always be proven true.

I’ve surprisingly heard a lot of talk of The Golden Rule in the first documentary that I watched regarding happiness.

People in the documentary stated that a lot of people would be happy if they just treated others the way they wanted to be treated. Would you want to be cussed out by someone for simply doing your job? No. So why do it to someone else? Is it based on their service or performance? They still don’t deserve it. Sure, they might give you bad service, but that is their concern… not yours. I’m sure that person will have other things to worry about when they are unemployed and looking for more work. Just do what you need to do and be done with it.

When in doubt, if you feel yourself reaching your boil just remember this, “If you don’t have something nice to say… don’t say it at all!”

Work on making this a better world for yourself and for others.


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