Think of it as the tornado that took me from Kansas and landed me in Oz. I don’t really know where I am. I’m sort of still finding that all out… again. But, like any new place, you have to start out small. You might find one place to eat or go to and you do that for a while until it sort of becomes familiar. You might venture out to a new coffee shop or restaurant. Eventually, you start expanding your radius a little further at a time. You have to start to work outside of your comfort zone. Let me tell you, it’s quite the rush. Exploring this new world that you are now in can be quite exciting and scary all at the same time.
You land in this strange place, and on the other side of the bushes is this whole new world. It can be a lot of fun. There are places that you haven’t even heard of before. There are locations you’ve never been to but only heard of. There are so many things to explore and to learn about. But then there is also the same hard, rough, disappointment, and fear.
You’re vulnerable all over again. Sure, you’re open to new things and trying everything. It’s almost overwhelming to all of your senses at once. Yet, it can cause you to come down just as hard.
Every day is something new. It’s incredibly unpredictable. When you wake up… sure you have your routine… but there is something about that day…
It lingers all through the morning as you’re getting ready, “What kind of day will this be?” you wonder.
In all honesty, I haven’t even begun to predict how things are going to be. My life has been so changing and scattered; there’s no pattern or even a formula to use to come close.
Every day, I come across a new situation that I have to learn how to handle. I’m not that flexible yet! I’m not that comfortable! I don’t know what the normal procedure is because I’ve never been here before.
“In order to learn, you must fall down.”
Someone gave me those wise words early last month. Ever since, they have stuck with me.
Where I land when I fall is always different.
I take a few steps, I fall. I’m near a rock and wonder about that rock. I wonder how something so small could trip me up. But I stand up, dust off, and begin to walk again.
A little further down the way, I fall again.
This time, it was a branch. I should have seen the branch but I was looking ahead the path too far that I forgot to see what was right in front of me… and I tripped. That branch made me take notice of it by causing me to fall.
Where I landed then was different than before; I’ve made progress.
I get up, recognize that sometimes, I have to see what’s right in front of me.
I stand up, dust myself off and walk on.
Do I get tired of falling all the time? Absolutely.
Not only did I land in this whole new territory but also the terrain is awful! All of these rocks and branches that just sneak up on you when you aren’t paying attention and they take you down.
I’ve gathered my scrapes, scratches, and scars.
But I haven’t even come close to covering any part of the new map!
I’m trying, I really am. I’m trying to keep things together while exploring and guarding my heart as much as possible. I know I have to put myself out there and risk gathering more bruises along the way.
Hopefully, after a while, I’ll become familiar with this new place. After a while, I’ll know all the right places to go and all the downfalls to skip over.
And while I may be clicking my heels and wishing to go back home, I have to realize that this is now my home.