To Text or Not to Text?

Maybe due to may over-analytic personality, these things matter to me, but I keep track of how often I text and get texted. If I find I’m the one always texting or starting the conversation, I’ll back off and wait for the other person to text first. If it takes months, then so be it. I feel that any relationship be it friendship or romantic, should be 50/50. If I’m the only one reaching out and making the effort, then I begin to wonder how invested the other person is to the relationship.

But it always comes down to that and I wonder if it is with just cause or if I really am being over-analytic. So, I asked a few people, and it’s split. Some people, like me, care and it matters. Others don’t pay attention to “such small matters.” So I often wonder that maybe I should let it go. Maybe I should text when I feel like it despite whose turn it actually is. So, one day, I did. I texted, asked questions, sent little fun facts, and you know what happened? I got no response! Not a single response to any of the questions, not even an ‘Lol’ or a ‘K’.

When the day passed, the next day, this person responded but it wasn’t even to the questions or information I texted the day before! I often wonder if this person texts only when they’re bored and need someone to talk to, but when they’re busy, they have no use for me.

Again, possibly over-analytic, but I think we as a society, have forgotten that we are still people with feelings. There is someone else on the other side of that screen. Sometimes, it’s easy to dismiss that fact because you only see words on a screen. Furthermore, because you aren’t standing face-to-face with that person, they can’t see your body or face to pick up on those facial and body cues to know how you are responding to them. You sort of have to signal MORE through your words via text than you would in person.

Because we are lacking these social cues, they only cue we can go off of is whether or not you decide to text! Then, from that, the reader has to decipher, through unspoken words, all that you are trying to non-verbally convey. So while I may be giving an obsessive, over-analytic justification of a missing text, it still speaks volumes whether you realize it or not.

But hopefully after reading this, you can understand a little bit more of all that you are (not) saying. Help out your phone contacts and make your texts a little more obvious. You’ll be glad you did.


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