Persnickety

Cool word, huh?

What it means is basically being overly choosy or selective… picky if you will. But instead of naming the post “Picky” for some reason, “Persnickety” was just a bit more fun.

So, where am I going with this? Let me tell you. Not too long ago, my girlfriend and I were talking about if we were being too picky or selective about the people we dated. How do you rule out those who aren’t right for you versus those who are? Well, there’s a lot of factors in there that we don’t always have control over. For example, I’m 5’3″ – so if a guy is interested in someone who is taller because he’s taller – let’s say 6’3″ – then there’s just nothing I can do about that. If I’m not the person he wants because of my height, that’s fine by me. I don’t want to have to constantly wear heels around him just to make it up to his waist.

There are other factors that people take into consideration as well such as religion, location, martial status, etc. These things are just ways to narrow down the huge amount of people out there. I mean, I don’t think everyone wants to be in a long distance relationship. It might be okay for some and it might not be okay for others. It’s just how it is.

So with these little guidelines in place, you often have to wonder: How picky is too picky?

For example, I have been on the hunt for a job for a while. About 8 weeks to be exact. In the beginning, I was a little bit picky. I wanted a job that I only had to do Monday through Friday. My girlfriend and my boyfriend both have weekends off so if I wanted to spend time with them, we would at least be on the same work schedule. I wanted a certain schedule as well meaning – full-time. With full time comes health benefits, vision, dental, etc. and I really need those. I’ve been wearing the same pair of contacts for 8 months because it’s MY LAST PAIR. So, to have some vision coverage would be nice.

While this all started out well in the beginning, about week 5 it started to change. I was looking for pretty much anything because at this rate, my student loans were still needing to be paid, so was the car insurance, oh yeah – there’s gas and food – and before you  know it, I’m running on bare minimum savings here.

Eventually, it became ANY PLACE THAT WOULD HIRE ME!

I didn’t care if it was weekends off, I didn’t care if it was part-time, I just needed money!

Did that desperation ever come in to play with a guy when looking for a relationship? Nope.

I was willing to hold off for a while when it came to finding a man I wanted to be in a relationship with. I’m okay with not fully committing to a job but when it comes to love, I can’t really let too many things slide.

On the same note, I recently went to a wedding and while I can’t speak on behalf of the bride and groom, I have to wonder on which things were they more concerned about than not? I don’t want to say that the bride was a bridezilla because she’s a really great person but, when it comes to ‘The Big Day’ everyone tends to get a little crazy.

While I had all of these thoughts floating around in my head, I wondered what exactly it was that separated one from the other. A job versus a boyfriend? Wedding details versus a job?

First, I think the person is at least 50% of the equation. Some people are more picky than others. There are people out there who are absolute control freaks and everything has to be perfect. For others, it’s not too important.

Second, the item itself has to be given an importance factor. So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how important is having the right man for you in your life? If you give it a 10, then you might be a little bit more picky about who you call your boyfriend. Granted, not every guy out there is going to be perfect but there are at least some characteristics he’s going to have to possess versus dating the next guy who thinks you’re cute.

Also, you have to figure out how long this particular item is going to be in your life. I mean, if you’re looking for a career to last you the rest of your life, well then you’re going to have to be a little bit, extremely picky as well. I mean, we’re talking the rest of your life… that could be a few couple of decades that you’re going to be doing this so, you’re going to want to do something you enjoy… a lot.

And finally, you have to gauge just how much it’s going to bother you if it isn’t what you want. If you’re okay with a few things being a little different, then you might have to realize that you can take what you got and be happy with it. However, if you’re going to be miserable every second of every day because it’s not exactly how you wanted it or how it’s supposed to be… then you’re going to just have to be picky until you get what you want. This sort of goes in hand with the type of person you are and how you need things but sometimes, if you’re out shopping for something, and what you exactly what doesn’t exist but there’s something that is damn near close, then you might be okay with it being a little different than anticipated.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a little selective on things. I guess it’s all on how you rate and view the item in discussion. I mean, what matters to you might not matter to someone else. It’s no one’s fault, it’s just how we are.

So, if you’re the one being all persnickety, don’t think of it as it being something bad, just realize it’s important to you and it’s what you want. At the end of the day, you’re the only one who has to live with it.

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