It’s funny how it takes one small, tiny thing to finally throw you over the proverbial edge. It’s always the stupidest thing ever too. You might blow out your flip flop and it causes the biggest explosion of rage that people are sort of left confused.
What they don’t understand is that it’s been piling up like this for weeks, if not months. It’s been continual and it’s been overwhelming. So finally, one small thing happens, a small crack, that turns into a whole shattering of emotions.
I think it’s your body’s (and mind’s) way of saying, “This is it! We’re done! We’ve taken all we can!”
So you just unleash this rage. You get so angry about it that you no longer care. You might hear people mutter it actually.
“You know what? I don’t care! I just don’t care anymore!”
“You go ahead and do what you want cause I’m done. I don’t care. Go ahead!”
And it’s funny that we decide to no longer care on things that we’ve been caring about this entire time. We’ve been caring and worrying to the point of exhaustion. It’s as if you realize you have done all that you can do – and you’ve done a lot – but there’s only so much you can do.
There’s only so much you can worry about at a time. Some things take priority over others. So, you might be worrying about your electric bill versus you’re girlfriend who has broken up with another guy for the millionth time. At this point, you know not to worry about your girlfriend and to start worrying about saving money.
You don’t worry about both because you can’t. There’s always going to be something down the road for you to worry about. So you empty out all of yourself, give up on everything, and stop caring so that in a few days, you can start worrying and start caring again about other things until you’re pushed over the edge and unleash your fury on a lego you stepped on. Which, don’t get me wrong, that shit hurts, but don’t be in my way when this shit goes down. I’m pretty sure someone will walk away bloody.
I think I’ve pretty much gotten to that point on a few things. I have too many other aspects of my life to focus on that I don’t really have the time or energy to worry about other shit in my life. I really don’t. I’ve tried, gave it my all, and now, I’m calling it a day.
That’s right – I don’t care.
I have a whole life to live and right now, I’m not going to waste it worrying about stupid shit. I just don’t see the justification in it. I won’t let it spoil all the great and amazing things I have going for me right now. I have too much to be thankful for that I’m not going to focus on the little, stupid things.
In a sense, I’m getting fed up sooner than my limit because I know it’s already pointless. Why even get to the edge? If you see it on the horizon, just turn around, and walk away.