Pretty Prison

34-Gothic-1280x1024-81205I look to my left, and I see the hill of trees outside. I walk to the window, and press my nose against it to see the entrance of the building and the parking lot. Sometimes, a car will drive by, passing through the short underpass and gliding over to the lot to park.

I turn around and head back to the couch. I sit and look at the black screen of the television. Then, I realize, it’s so quiet in here. I scan around the room taking in the complete, and utter silence of the room. It’s just me and the furniture.

I realize it’s 3:30 p.m. and I haven’t eaten anything since 10 a.m. this morning. I stand up and make almost a full U-turn to get into the kitchen. The silence follows me. I look around and see that there are dishes in the sink, and the dishwasher has clean dishes still in it.

“Well, there’s something to do,” I think to myself as I mosey over to the counter top and begin putting clean dishes away and transferring dirty ones in the dishwasher. After that is complete, I look to my left and see we have a giant pizza cooking plate that needs washed by hand; it’s too big to fit in the dishwasher.

Grabbing it, I bring it to the sink and begin to clean it. Surprisingly, my mind does not wander and focuses only on the task at hand. Once completed and returned to its proper place, I begin to make lunch. A quick scan of the fridge and cupboard show me that I’ll probably be having a peanut butter sandwich. “I honestly don’t mind the jelly, but it’s just pure sugar,” I think. Today, I really wanted some jelly. Making my sandwich, I head back to the couch. I browse the internet and eat my sandwich.

I glance over to the window again. I know it’s nice outside, but I have nowhere to go. I don’t have errands to run, I don’t have doctor’s appointments, and I don’t have a class. “I’ll probably read again,” I think to myself. I sort of almost cringe. I know this book will tire me out, because it’s a hard read. I need more brainpower and focus for it. It’s exhausting after a while.

I think back to earlier this morning. I read some of the book then, and ended up taking a nap; I was so exhausted. I know if I continue to read, I’ll most likely fall into another nap.

Scanning the room again, I look around and spot the movies on the shelf next to me. I slide of the couch and kneel in front of it, scanning all the movies. Sighing, I let my head sink down. “It’s not fun watching a movie alone,” I think. Then it hits me. “I used to watch movies all the time by myself before…“, I think to myself, and even my thought drifts into silence as I realize why I was watching movies alone.

I shake my head and make my way back to the couch. I grab the remote, lay my head down on my cow printed pillow, and pull up my cow printed blanket.

And I think to myself, “Well, let’s see what’s on TV.”

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