The Devil Wears Scrubs

devil…amongst other things I’m sure.

But for this visit, it was in scrubs.

There are people out there who have done a really great and amazing job to get where they are now. I’m sure they have toiled, worked, failed, toiled again, and finally after years of hard work, made it to where they are now.

I get that.

I do.

I know the meaning of hard work, and money.

Trust me.

I’ve been there.

However, I don’t think that this gives you the right to forget that people are just that – people. We have flaws. Shocking, I know, but stick with me.

When teaching a child how to walk, you have to consistently try. Every day, you have to go back, and try again. The child may stand – wobble – and fall right back down. Doesn’t matter, you will try again.

Now, imagine a parent who does this:

Helps the child stand up. When the child wobbles, and doesn’t move, the parent is in an outrage of how a child can just WOBBLE! I mean, seriously! Get those knees workin’ kid!

Who WOBBLES?!

Successful people do not wobble! They stand their asses up and start walking like they were born to do it (no pun intended).

Those around me, who have already learned to walk, and even power walk, are still on eggshells when mommy comes in.

A woman who wants everything, so precise, down to the period of every sentence… has some issues.

“Why did you order so many pens?!” she shrieks.

“No one orders ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING unless I tell them too!” she bellows out.

Okay, I understand that money is being wasted on pens. We don’t need 1,000 pens for an office of three. Some people are kleptomaniacs, but not all of them are one. Then, in the very same day, the hellion decides that everyone’s electronic calendars use 12 different colors for 12 different processes that have been done so that she is able to know – at a glance – what is happening at every minute of the day without having to leave her desk.

Furthermore, if anyone suggests a way that might be, oh, I don’t know, EASIER – gasp! To hell their souls! Why would anyone tell me an easier way of doing something? What? Only use TWO colors? Have you lost your mind?

Apparently so.

All workplaces must not have anything unnecessary on them. No pens, markers, pencils, post-its, notes, stickers, or chapstick. If you want to wear a zip-up sweater, or any sweater for that matter, because it’s cold in the office – well, you can’t.

Oh, and by the way, Archfiend is constantly hot. So the lair must be kept cool. The center of Hell really is cold. Dante was right.

And just so your attention is solely on your work while you are in her lair, she will take your phone from you, and lock it away within the depths of the cave. You are not to have the phone back until you leave.

That is, if you finish your work.

Then you can leave.

Oh! But wait! There is too much work! You can not finish! What are you to do?

Suffer the punishment, that’s what you do.

How can you not finish the work? Are you THAT over-whelmed? Are you THAT INCOMPETENT?!

What do you mean this is your first day of work?! Who cares! You should know this job by now! WHY DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO DO YOUR JOB? IT’S BEEN 4 HOURS! YOU SHOULD BE AN EXPERT AT IT!

The others take the punishment for my incompetents. Don’t worry, I get my lashes too… it’s just not as hard… well… eh.. okay, it’s hard… and it sucks. But, that’s what I get for not learning my job in one day.

The following day, I am sent in search for a patient chart. I can’t find said chart. I’ve searched every cabinet that I see. I’ve searched stock rooms, patient rooms, drawers, and folders.

I can not find this chart.

I don’t know where it is, and I couldn’t even know where to look at this point.

It has been 20 minutes. Still no chart.

As the she-devil steps down from her hellish throne, I am asked why I can’t find it. Why is this such a difficult task for me?

She rolls her eyes, and shakes her head in disappointment at me. I am such a fool.

From now on, I am not allowed to search for charts.

How I’m supposed to get patient information? Well, that’s my problem now, isn’t it?

No worries though, a mere 15 minutes later, and I am told to leave the premises.

I didn’t even make it a week in Hell.

 

I’m such a pathetic loser.

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