When is ‘Long Enough’?

I was at work the other day, and someone must have said something to trigger a memory of mine.

It made me think of someone.

I haven’t thought of him in a while. He was… is someone so special.

When I first met him, he was 7.

He was cute as a button, and as wild as any 7 year old boy would be.

He had so much energy & happiness. To hear him laugh instantly made you laugh as well.

I don’t know how he did it, but he managed to have good manners. He was surprisingly well-behaved also. He got out of hand every now and then, but for the most part, he was a really good kid.

Whenever we would hang out, he would have the most amazing things to say. I was always shocked by this, because I’ve overheard a few teenagers talking (who have more knowledge & a bigger vocabulary…supposedly) and really worried about the youth of the nation.

He was also clever at times.

He was a wise man in a little body.

When I last saw him, he was 9.

He had definitely grown up some, but still remained as childish as ever. He would giggle over some of the stupidest things, and I loved it.

With the energy of a whole box of Monsters, he would ask all types of questions. Letting his mind wander, he would think of things that confused him, and searched for answers.

This is when I realized how difficult it is to be a parent. Your child expects you to have all the answers, and you just don’t. A child’s curiosity is just unmanageable.

Sometimes we would talk about school, and what he was learning. It’s amazing how opinionated a 9 year old could be. Most kids hate things, because it was mean, or it hurt them. This boy didn’t see it that way. When his teacher was giving him a hard time, he would snap back at her.

He was often in trouble.

But it didn’t matter. You knew that elementary school, junior high, and high school was all a part of the process of teaching your child how to tell time and use money.

Nothing of real importance will be taught to your child except maybe social skills.

Hell, I’m still waiting for the moment when I have to draw out a negative parabola.

When it comes to history, that’s okay, I can understand learning about our country. Also, the fun little facts you know might save your ass on Jeopardy.

With his big eyes, and his cute smile, I don’t know how any teacher could be so angry.

*

Thinking of him today, he would be 11.

Sometimes, I sit and ponder about what he’s pondering about. I want to hear his stories, funny quips, and all that he’s learned.

It’s been 2 years since I saw him.

I often wonder, do I think of him when I shouldn’t be?

Time has passed and my life has changed. He’s no longer in my life; I’m not in his.

I know that people pass away, and you can still think of them in heaven, and the days get easier.

After a while, people are able to move on with their lives.

Some people WANT to forget about others. I know that I try to NOT think of a few exes.

I just wonder if I’m holding on too long. I still think of him, and I actually miss him so much.

But there comes a time, when you have to move on. You can’t stay in the memories forever.

Some people have difficulty of letting go when someone passes.

In addition, he was, for me, an insta-family.

I immediately became some who has to look out for him. And take care of them.

So when I think about him, it’s almost like thinking of a child you babysat for when you were a teenager.

Do you miss them? Do babysitters still think of the little ones they spent so much time with?

While I might never seen him as an adult someday, he will always remain that little boy.

He made such an impact on me that I don’t know if I’ll truly ever forget about him. There are classmates I never think of, and those people were in my life for longer.

The fear still creeps in me though. What if I forget about him? What if I don’t recognize the face that has been tattooed on my brain?

It is quite interesting that we forget about people who used to mean so much to us. That first crush, or first kiss. Sometimes, you just don’t remember anymore.

Sometimes, it will evaporate from your memory so that you can’t remember even if you tried.

And when you get to that point, the point where someone’s name or someone’s face causes no reaction in you whatsoever,

then you know it’s been long enough.

 

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