You just play it, again, and again, in your mind.
Again, and again.
You torture yourself with it. The moment is gone, and is slowly creeping further and further in to the past. And you think, “If only I did/didn’t do that…” You just start thinking about how things could have been different, or things might be better.
In reality, you don’t know how things would have turned out. While you think it might have been for the better, you will never truly know.
You can be right where you are now, just a few more miles down the road, but you try to hope for the best.
And because you think that things might have been better, you replay that moment again and again.
It’s a constant play and re-play of how things went. Just again, and again, flashing in your brain. And you can only torture yourself for so long, before you finally give up and move on… or you finally forget about it.
But for the next few days or even the next week, it’s just a constant self-torturing. You feel stupid again, and again. Your one chance to do something or change something different… and you didn’t do it. You screwed things up.
You didn’t say what you wanted to.
You said too much.
It came out wrong.
No matter how things could have been different, they weren’t.
And now, you’re only left with constantly re-playing it, and hoping that come next time – you learned y our lesson.