Think of a person you hate. I mean, you really hate. Think of the reason why you hate them. If they did something to you, or a friend , or family member. Now, think of when it happened. Maybe in high school, or college. Maybe it was someone you worked with once.
Now, think of a sibling that you hate – or once hated. Maybe a cousin, instead. Think of that sibling, or cousin, or aunt, whatever. Think of them, and why you hate them. Were they mean? Were they liars?
Now, think of your parents. Some people don’t even speak to their parents anymore. Think of a time you hated them. If you forgave your parents, think of why you did it. Or maybe you’ve never forgiven them. It’s completely normal to say that you hate your parents. There are books about how to cope when your kids say they hate you. I think maybe kids are encouraged to hate their parents.
Think of all of the hate you had toward this person. You completely removed these people from your life (be it friends, or cousins).
You have no longer associated yourself with this person. Or maybe you still hold contempt.
Now, please answer me this: why is it NOT OKAY to hate your children?
You can hate the whole world, but your kids are exempt.
And unlike everyone else in the world, you can’t just remove them from your life. I mean, you can, it’s not illegal to put your child up for adoption.
Or, if you do admit – gasp – that you hate your child, you HAVE to admit that you forgave them. Why? Because they are your children.
You don’t forgive your friend, because they are your friend.
You reproduced. You are allowing our species to continue on. Good for you.
Now, this little person – who has completely destroyed your body… permanently – will start out as a little person who will continue to do destructive things. I mean, there’s more than one reason that you ‘baby proof’ your house.
First, they deprive you of sleep. Then, as they slowly grow, they will destroy your nice clothes, because creamed corn didn’t sit well with their stomach. Once they become mobile, well, you’ll have to continue to chase this person around. Yes, I know you can teach your child to not run around, but you don’t just tell them once and they do it. It’s going to be a process.
Then come the tantrums come. The screaming, throwing themselves on the floor, throwing things, etc. These can happen anywhere too. The store, the mall, the living room. The continual spills and messes. We all know children are messy, don’t lie.
Next comes the stage of entitlement. Everything you do – is for them. Or at least that is what they think. They probably think this, because for their whole life (thus far), you have done everything for them. Cleaned up after them, fed them, bathed them, bought them endless amounts of toys.
What do you mean you bought that laptop for mommy? How dare you. You work hard both at your job, and at home, and when you finally have enough to buy something you were excited about, the child has a fit because it is supposed to be theirs. They are entitled to the fruits of your labor.
Following this is the rebellious years. They know more than you. They will do what they want. They don’t have to listen to you anymore.
Raising a child from birth until 18 now costs about $250,000. That’s just the average, of course. It varies.
In addition to the cost, you have to spend two decades raising this person. Making sure you have a babysitter available, making sure they get to their soccer game on time, helping with school projects, baking for every reason known to man.
People always say, “yeah, but it was worth it.” I’m probably thinking it’s because they HAVE TO say it. Because, again, we can’t hate our children.
But, I have come across people in my life who haven’t not had kids and are completely fine with that. There are others who HAVE HAD kids and have told me to not have them.
“I love my kids, I do. But if I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t have them.”
And while some of you might think it’s mean – I don’t. I think that is actually the most honest answer I have received.
Now, I’m not saying I hate kids. I love spending time with kids. I think they are very cute. My godson is the cutest kid I know!
But, I’m talking about HAVING the child and then HATING the child. Of your own. Someone else’s kid falls into that category of hating them and not being around them… just like you do to regular people.
For all that kids do to you, physically, emotionally, and financially.
It is completely taboo to hate your child.