Why is everyone else allowed to have an opinion but me?
People will start a conversation with me talking about whatever it is they want to, and they will share their opinion on whatever is going on.
Now, 9 times out of 10, I disagree with them. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I ‘disagree’ with them, perhaps, I just have a different perspective. And it’s not because I’m trying to be difficult or give them a hard time, I just see things differently. I do try to be as diplomatic as possible with it by saying, “Well, the way I see it…” and provide my opinion in a very calm manner.
Since this differs from the other person, an argument immediately begins.
This is where I learn almost 9 times out of 10 that the person really has no good reason to back up their opinion. When I challenge their opinion with different situations where their idea would come in to play, they immediately have nothing really to say about it. And this makes them look bad. And everyone has a big ego nowadays, and no one can ever be wrong, and so this person begins to raise their voice instead of admitting they might not have a steady argument.
I’m not going to lie though, sometimes I’ll choose the opposite side just to challenge the other person as to why they believe what they do. Most times, I’m able to crack the ground on which they stand, and again, an argument begins.
So now, I get he reputation of being difficult or shamed as the “girl who disagrees with everyone.”
But let me tell you a story about this one time I had lunch by myself at Panera.
At work, I have no windows around me, so I never know what kind of day it is. Well, it was a day when the weather was particularly nice, so I decided I would go out for lunch. Panera is right down the road, so I figured “why not?”
It was busy – as it was lunch – and I found a table for two next to one of the windows. I wanted to sit in the sun and actually SEE the outside world. There were two girls who sat at the table for two directly behind me.
Now, I’m not one to eavesdrop, but these girls were talking at a rather loud tone (since it was lunch and the place was busy), so I had the rare and amazing privilege to be privy to their conversation.
The girl who sat directly behind me was, what I later called, the “perfect friend.”
She was so agreeable, supportive, and engaged like no one I’ve ever heard before. Now maybe, that’s just who she was. She just said “yes” to everything whether or not she shared the same idea. Okay, so maybe she DID actually feel the same way about every.single.thing. her friend said. Who knows?
The point being, I think everyone wants their friends to be this way.
When a person comes to me and starts explain their opinion or thought, they just want that perfect friend who will be the cheerleader to their ideas. Just agree with them and even support them with other thoughts of the same nature.
We live in a world with opposing views. It’s just how it is, folks. If everyone agreed – truly agreed – we might have a happy, healthier, peaceful Earth. But we don’t agree… on anything.
Then I began to wonder.. why must I be the perfect, agreeable friend?
Why do I have to agree with everything you say and not have an actual opinion? Because it’s different than yours? Because the reasons you are providing aren’t exactly sound reasons? Because you might actually have to THINK about the issue at hand. Like, FOR REAL!
You can’t preach your opinion and expect everyone to agree. Furthermore, you can’t expect friends and family to agree JUST BECAUSE they’re your friends and family!
And if your friends and family agree with you, how can you ever get to know them? Sure, they might share the same thoughts on certain things; but if they ever feel a different way, and can’t disagree because they have to be the perfect friend, how do you know who they are?
And apparently I don’t know my friends or family, and my friends and family don’t know me. We each hold our opinions to ourselves and never let them know who we really are.
But it doesn’t matter who we are, because we’re being the perfect friend; the Stepford friend. Because that’s all they really want from us.
They just want the perfect friend.