The Memories Kill Me

I don’t remember what the conversation was about, but it triggered a memory. And then I began to really think about my life. When we are born, we don’t really start having memories until around the age of 4 or so. From then on, we sort of build our own little scrapbook of memories. Some good and some bad. Eventually, you start to fill up your book. It just dawned on me not too long ago, that I have quite a few memories in my book. And when I stopped and thought about it, I realized that while I was … Continue reading The Memories Kill Me

I Woke Up Late

Have you ever been living your life… just as usual, and then, something happens. You write a check, you fill out a form, or you pass an electric billboard, and you realize what day it is. It was only the other day, that I signed off on a request, and realized it was January 16th. I had no idea what had happened to the first half of the month. I’m sure I lived it; however, I don’t remember a single day of anything that happened. It’s like I just woke up late in the middle of the month! And even … Continue reading I Woke Up Late

Why I Would Make a Terrible Teacher

I was assigned a new employee for a few hours to give him a feel for what he would be doing now he is on the job. It was at this point I realized I would make a terrible teacher. I never wanted to teach. Ever. When I went into English, everyone assumed that was what I wanted to do – or was going to do. No. Nope. Never. Once upon a time, I was a new employee. The trainer I had was a nice girl. A lot younger than me. She made the job seem like it was this … Continue reading Why I Would Make a Terrible Teacher

Life Credits

I talk to a lot of people each day. This is not by choice. But what’s great about people is that they always surprise you. Every.Single.Time. When I was in high school, I was taking classes in science, math, English, social studies, and American history. Now, I truly do believe these are important, I really do. But to an extent. When two people have a child, the point of parenting is to raise the child to be a functioning person of society. HOW you raise said child is different, but ultimately, you want this little person to grow up, be … Continue reading Life Credits

When is ‘Long Enough’?

I was at work the other day, and someone must have said something to trigger a memory of mine. It made me think of someone. I haven’t thought of him in a while. He was… is someone so special. When I first met him, he was 7. He was cute as a button, and as wild as any 7 year old boy would be. He had so much energy & happiness. To hear him laugh instantly made you laugh as well. I don’t know how he did it, but he managed to have good manners. He was surprisingly well-behaved also. … Continue reading When is ‘Long Enough’?

Career vs. Job

I’ve learned in my life that if you want to accomplish something… set a deadline. Give yourself a deadline to complete whatever it is you want to do. For example, I have my birthday lists. I have one full year to complete everything I’ve listed for myself…and hopefully more. But when it comes to finding a career, how do I put a deadline on that? I’m at the job I am now, and I’m still applying to other places. Then, I thought, I can’t even set a deadline for this. When I walked outside today, it was a very cool … Continue reading Career vs. Job

Be Done With It

I apparently have too much caring in me. I always knew that, and it’s a hard life living with it. I care about things I shouldn’t care about; I worry about things I shouldn’t worry about. It’s my life. But sometimes, I forget. That’s when reality comes along and says, “Jess, just be done with it.” And when I say reality, I mean my supervisor. I was told today that I care way too much about my clients and I need to learn to let go. “Just do your job and be done with it.” I want to help these … Continue reading Be Done With It

The Stages of Pain

There’s always a process in learning how to deal with something that really hurts you. And I’m not talking about physically hurting you, I’m talking about the emotional stuff. For me, there are always at least three stages that I go through: 1 – Anger: I get extremely angry. I’m so angry that I’m almost catatonic, because of it. Instead of lashing out and hitting something, I just hold it all in as if I’m trying to prevent a volcano from exploding. The rage comes, and comes, and then it tears. 2 – Sadness: The second stage is extreme sadness. … Continue reading The Stages of Pain

Leading the Horse to Water

I have a lot of people in my life who are just not willing to do something that will benefit them. This, confuses the hell out of me. I don’t have a job, so I’m applying to get a job. There are others who hate their job, and when I sent them applications to other jobs, they won’t fill them out. I’ll always ask, “If you hate your job so much, why didn’t you fill out the 20 applications I sent you?” The response: “Well, I don’t know…I don’t think I’m ready.” I’m not asking these people to up and … Continue reading Leading the Horse to Water

The Passing Days

There are days in the future that I do not want to come. I’m dreading certain dates. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. Every day, I get closer and closer to that date. I get more nervous and scared as the days pass. But, what I realized is that the day is coming whether I want it to or not. There have been events in my past, such as graduating college, that I never thought would have happened. I mean, you’re in kindergarten and when people say you’re going to be in high school one day, that … Continue reading The Passing Days